I’ve spent a lot of time with me, myself, and I lately, and it causes me to do way too much thinking. I’m still trying to decide whether or not that’s a good thing. November is just beginning and this is usually a month of reflection and what we are thankful for. This year is coming to an end and I’m thankful for a lot of things. This year could probably be categorized as one of the worst in a long time, but as I always say… there’s always good, always a positive with a negative. There’s 3 things that come to mind that have made this year difficult to me: losing my best friend – and let me clarify…they’re right when they say mourning a loss of someone who is still alive is extremely difficult. They are also right when they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. The second unfortunate event was something I haven’t really shared with most people so for now I’ll remain vague and say that I had the biggest health scare I’ve ever faced that required surgery. All went well and I feel healthy but the 6 month checkup in February will tell more. And lastly, I moved for what feels like the millionth time to save some money before I move again at the beginning of the year.
Side note: part of me wonders why I’m telling you this, but I was trying to sleep and all these things were on my mind, so I chose to write about it. I believe that my subconscious might help someone open their eyes too.
Anyways, in retrospect, those three things don’t seem THAT bad. And I bet if I try hard enough, I can come up with several reasons why this year has still been good, and still has the ability to end well. I’ve discovered myself again. I learned what it feels like to not be appreciated or worthy, and don’t ever want anyone to feel that. I have a great job, the best coworkers anyone can ask for, and some pretty awesome friends. I thought my whole world was ending in February, but really it was a new beginning. I decided to start loving myself again. I’m the kind of person who puts others first, rarely doing things for myself. But being selfish isn’t always a bad thing. My biggest act of selfishness this year was probably one of the best decisions I’ve made: lasik surgery. I’ve always dreamed of being able to wake up and read my phone without holding it a centimeter away. So I finally did it. Something for me and only me. And it was well worth it. My health scare then brought my closest friends closer, and I was really thankful to be able to lean on them. One friend even drove 7 hours to spend the night with me while I waited on biopsy results. If that’s not true friendship, I don’t know what is. The move really isn’t that big of a deal, but it’s an absolute inconvenience, despite being far from work and social events.
The Danica Discovery: you don’t owe anyone anything. Take what you’ve gone through and let it mold you. Don’t let it define you. You have the ability to push through what should have made you weak, but if you dig deep enough to find the positives, your strength is undeniable.
Ps- I’m currently reading a book about being vulnerable and how it can transform the way we live. So this is my start at being vulnerable. Quite different from my other blog posts so far, but I’m not here to be the same. Dare to be different.